shawneesspot

Hello 2012

2012-01-08T12:36:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!

I had briefly thought about writing some big long post about my resolutions and stuff but decided against it. Why? Well simple, I don't usually make resolutions, I do reflect on goals and considering things I want to work on for the New Year but I don't consider them to be resolutions.

In any event, I am looking forward to what I hope will be an excellent New Year, 2012 has a number of great things coming up for me. The most important one being my return to school after a semester off and then not to mention I turn 40 this summer. I am looking to have a fantastic year both personally and at school.

Holidays and Family Issues SUCK!

2011-12-06T06:21:00.000-08:00

First of, I know that I owe my blog some pictures of my projects but I just haven't taken the time to take any pics... as it is I am behind on at least one holiday knitting project, haven't finished my jock for the jock swap... so, pictures will have to wait I guess.

Second, that blank post back there, you know the one you have been secretly thinking what the hell was he doing? Well I was trying to use the Droid app and that blank post is what happened, oops!

So, the real reason that I am writing this post, I would love to write this as a note and post it to my Facebook page but I am not sure if I should yet. I have mentioned previously the family issues going on with my mom and my siblings. No need to rehash the details... I do think however that it is time I say something, as we approach the holidays, it is really bugging me. I never realized before now how important close friends and family are. I know this sounds lame... but it is really weighing on me. I recognize that I am not the best about staying in touch but when I make an effort it is genuine and true, even if though it may be as often as it should be.

As I am preparing for the holidays and my mom's visit, I can't help but think about the fact that we should all be together in Montana. Yes, I have my own reasons for not heading home, mostly money and time off. However, I can't help but be disappointed in my brother's and their wives behavior. The fact that they haven't talked to their mom or even made an effort when she has attempted to do so. More over, I am horrified that whatever their reasons are for being upset with their mom, they are keeping their kids from their grandmother. I almost wonder if they are doing this on purpose knowing that she lives for her grand kids.

I certainly don't mean to vilify my siblings, I am just extremely disappointed. I was extremely close to my grandmother and would give anything to spend time with her again. I am saddened that my niece and nephews are being denied that same opportunity because of their parent's stubbornness. As a matter of fact, their opinions and issues are spilling over to their kids, my niece acts like she is in trouble when she talks to her grandma which means she is hearing what is being said. I say a big SHAME on you to my siblings and their spouses.

I don't feel better having put this out there but it will eventually help. Now I need to do what I can to make sure my mom and I have a very special holiday.

Pictures and Projects

2011-11-18T08:29:00.000-08:00

so, I finally downloaded the blogger app on my Evo and it is part of my plan to take some pictures of my projects and some finished projects over the weekend. After seeing Breaking Dawn Part 1 last night, we need a Twilight marathon to bring my roommate up to speed which means even more knitting time... YAY!

Open at Midnight

2011-11-16T07:53:00.000-08:00

A local television station, Kare11, recently aired a story about stores opening up at Midnight on Thanksgiving rather than the customary early Black Friday morning. One of people interviewed for the story was a gentleman who works at Target and stated an online petition to get to Target to give Thanksgiving back. Now, to be fair this guy wasn't just targeting Target but they just happen to be his employer.

As part of the research, Kare11 requested comments on their Facebook page in response to this story idea. Many people posted that retail people should be thankful they have a job, while others in the medical field commented that they have worked holidays for years. I get their point but it really isn't a fair comparison, as a nurse you enter into your profession or a hospital setting knowing that holidays are a part of the deal. Also, as a medical professional you are paid significantly more than someone working retail. Point of reference, I won't receive holiday pay as a part time sales associate... but I digress, this is just one example and there are so many.

So anyway, I was reading all of this and getting a little frustrated because the general idea of the story by Kare11 is the fact that more and more time is being taken away from people's families. Think about it, over the last decade or more we have become more and more a 24/7 society, no longer working 40 hours, no longer taking a true vacation where you aren't checking on work. I remember back when I was a kid and then holidays were something special, surrounded by friends and family, where the only thing open on Thanksgiving was the hospital and an occasional convenience store.

This thanksgiving, I will be hanging with friends and resting, knowing that on my day off from my full time job, I will be working a mandatory 12 hour shift at my part time retail gig. The store I work at is opening at Midnight with 100 others at the Mall of America. I didn't draw that shift and I am grateful but I am not looking forward to a 12 hour Black Friday either. Woo Hoo!

2011-11-12T05:59:00.001-08:00

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Cheese with my Whine

2011-11-09T10:31:00.000-08:00

Okay, I am so tired, I have 4 days this week that are 13+ hours and I don't know if I can manage it. Poor me! I think what makes it worse is that I can't say anything to my roommate because he will tell me how hard he worked or how busy he is... like it's a competition or something. BTW this is the guy that only goes to school full time (13 credits) and has no job other than school. Yep, you win!

Okay, wow, I am so crabby... anyone want to provide some massage therapy free of charge?

Rip, Rip

2011-10-13T07:12:00.000-07:00

Haven't had much to say lately... have some major knitting updates but I need to take some pictures to post here.

First, thank you for indulging me on the family drama post, it has been a very frustrating week between me and my brothers. I decided I am going to take the high road and let them look like the assholes that they are. It's just better this way!

Knitting updates, so I have been knitting away a lot of stuff... I think I have 3 or 4 projects in the works. HAHA! I remember when I first started knitting, I swore I would never have more than one project going at a time. I have 4 active ones and about 4 pojects that are just hanging out.

Anyway, I finished test knitting the lace shawl and a double knit scarf for Janine's book. The shawl has been blocked and looks so amazing!! You will have to check out the book to see it... the scarf, was a long and quick knit, nothing like double knitting a scarf the long way. Probably won't do that againf or a little while.

With the test knitting complete, I am working on holiday projects. My mom isn't a shawl wearing kind of person but I am making her the Wrap Me Up shawl, she has seen it and thinks I am doing it just for fun. I decided because she would never knit one that it would be a nice gift. Who knows, if she keeps it handy maybe she will actually use a shawl on chilly evenings on the deck or when visiting other cabins. I am also working on a halfdome for my friend Joel, I have made him one before but he wore it out and he has a different colored coat now. I wish I could say that both of these projects were going well but I have ripped out and restarted the halfdome, it was a little big and I just ripped out 50 rows of the wrap me up.

Here's to more and productive knitting this upcoming week!

Family Dynamics suck!

2011-10-07T07:45:00.000-07:00

When I started my blog and as I have continued it, I have never looked at it as a place to vent or complain and then Facebook came along. I approach Facebook the same way, it is social media and I do my best to avoid drama, complaining, whining, etc.

Well my friends, I am breaking that vow today... why? I don't have anywhere else that I feel comfortable saying what I need to say, of course it is all family drama. For the past few months, well since Memorial Day weekend, my brother hasn't been speaking to my mom, over extremely petty things. I had hoped it would be a short rift and have chosen to stay out of it. Sadly, that may not have been the best decision but for me it was the only way to maintain my relationship with my mom. Fast forward a few months and my youngest brother now has a rift with my mom that has me upset again. Anyway, the details aren't what's important at this point at least not me... I just don't know how to say what I want to say to them...

I think it bothers me most because both of my brothers have children who it seems are being kept from their grandmother, whether on purpose or not, I don't know. And where Facebook fits into this... when you live 100 miles from your family it is a great place to see the pictures and keep up with what everyone is doing. Sadly, my brother's and their wives have decided to unfriend my mom on Facebook, very juvenile if you ask me. With that action goes the main connection to her grandchildren.

I still firmly believe that for me and my mom it is best I stay out of it. However, the future therapist in me wants to say so many things... As I write this I am embarrassed by the behavior of my siblings, I think that they are acting childish and should be ashamed of how they are treating their only living parent. I would think that after losing our dad in such a tragic and unexpected way they would see that they are behaving so poorly and I want to tell them. Why don't I? Because I believe, no, I know that my message won't be heard.

Anyway, if you read this thanks, if you don't that's fine because simply by typing it I feel a lot better.

Hate being Marginalized!

2011-09-30T09:13:00.000-07:00

In one of the forms on Ravelry someone created a thread about feeling marginalized as a male knitter and wondered if people felt the same way. He also pondered ways to change through possibly creating a magazine or patterns for male knitters by male knitters. Now, I know that knitting is definitely a women dominated skill and in many cases when you look at knitting magazines, postings, patterns it is quite evident. I generally look past it and just deal but have noted in many magazines there have been a lack of men's patterns. Hello! it's holiday time, there should be a few options but whatever.

Anyway, the replies to this discussion thread have been very heated and some very good points have been made along the way. In reading the discussion thread it has gotten me thinking... bad thing! I looked at my pals on Ravelry - mostly men, I looked at the groups I am a member of, again mostly men's groups and a few GLBT groups. I choose when I can to be surrounded by men knitters to have a feeling of similar experience. Interestingly, one of the things I do get upset about in these discussion forums is when a woman knitter joins or starts posting in a men who knit group, while input and comments is good I get angry because there are so few men's spaces and so many women's... get out! Similarly, when I reflect on the discussion form, Queer Ravelry, I don't feel like I belong in there either... the topics don't usually relate to me, I find all of the "queer" talk annoying, a label and word usage I struggle with. Most of the people that post in this forum are lesbian or queer which is fine but it seems to dominate the discussion... again probably because knitting is mostly a female dominated skill.

So with that said... I identify as a Gay man, not queer who is a male knitter and proud of it.

YO!

2011-09-27T07:50:00.000-07:00

YO! So, here I sit finally back at work... thinking I would be super busy working for an executive only to discover that he isn't in the office and I have most of the work already caught up. I figured why not blog and say hello...

what's up with me? I wish I had something incredibly witty to write about or to say but i don't. I could recap my weekend of dogsitting but really, who wants to read about that. Anyway, I can tell you that I accomplished alot of knitting on a double knit scarf, knit the long ways. I will post a pic once I take one, each row takes me almost 30 mins! I worked on my sweater a little bit and I really need to be working on my knitted jock for the jock swap.

so, really a jock swap? Yes, you bet, I think it will be fun except that I think mine will be pretty basic compared to everyone else's and that bothers me a bit. I have some ideas and I need to get going with it but I am frozen in thought about how to knit around elastic...

Well back to looking busy! Happy Knitting!

Where have I been?

2011-09-19T10:13:00.001-07:00

Hello Blog world! Been away briefly... haven't been able to work at the University for the past few weeks and my laptop at home is dead for the moment. Anyway, I am at the library and had to share a few things...

I am not enrolled in school this semester and I hate every minute of that fact! I am having a hard time of it and I am firmly resolved to make sure I am back in school this Spring no matter what.

Need to work full time but that is briefly on hold until my application works through the bureaucracy of the University system... hoping I will be back in the office the end of this week!

Knitting has been keeping me busy and very sane, I need to snap some pictures to post later. I completed the mystery shawl I worked on for my friend's book and have been making huge progress on the Brownstone by Jared Flood. Sadly I had to put the sweater down so I could help my friend with a few more patterns. Nothing like having to jump in where someone else failed to meet the deadline. I am working on a double knit scarf the long way and it is taking me 45 mins to complete one row, UGH!!

so, saw Contagion this weekend, thought it was okay but this line from the movie made my day and thought I would share it on my blog:

"Blogging isn't writing, it's graffiti with punctuation marks." - Dr. Sussman, from the movie Contagion.

Love a project?

2011-09-01T09:15:00.003-07:00

Do you ever work on a project night and day because you have to? In the process you really aren't sure if you love it or hate it? I am currently working on test knitting a project for a book that a friend is writing. I have enjoyed the knitting so far and have 2 more different pattern repeats to finish it. The project is actually kind of cool and I like the meaning behind it and what it means. here is the thing, my friend has no love for this book and I feel like it is starting to wear off on me... I would so much rather be knitting on other projects, things I put off while I was in school that I want to be done...

anyway, here is a quick snapshot, pretty, huh? Sorry it isn't better but I can't let you have all of the details...

Knitting?

2011-09-01T09:15:00.001-07:00

Stats!

2011-08-31T07:21:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I was reading Cawfeeguy's blog from ravelry yesterday and he mentioned that Blogger let's you see the stats of your posts. This is so cool, either it has been there for a while and I am just completely unobservant or it is fairly new.

Well, really I am going with unobservant considering I haven't been on Blogger much lately at all. Anyway, it was very interesting to see how many people are checking out my posts and where they are coming from. I think my stats tell me I get more readership when I am not whining and complaining, big surprise there.

I swear there is a knitting update coming and I will hopefully be more witty even though I am not that good at it in writing.

Peace out!

Feelin the blues

2011-08-30T12:54:00.000-07:00

So, I had big plans on Friday to go the State Fair and see everything and eat everything in sight... well I ended up sick. I still went with Tiffany and Janine, we had been planning for months, Janine bought me tickets to see Heart and Def Leopard at the Night show. I did my best to make it all day at the fair, I might been a bit bitchy and probably didn't enjoy the show as much as I would have liked.

Now, first off, I am not nor I have ever been a huge hair band fan so this was really stepping outside of my box but I figured it would be fun. Heart, rocked it! I loved their part of the show and as far as I am concerned they could have just stayed on stage all night. Def Leopard was good and I did recognize a few songs, unfortunately it was during their part of the show that my medicine wore off and I was miserable.

I guess another visit to the State Fair over the next week will be in order, I need to make up for last Friday and take care of a few traditions - milking a goat, eating 2 crepes and a few other things - fried pickles, you aren't free yet!

So where to the blues come in? Due to my own reluctance to deal with it, my financial aid issues haven't been resolved, so I won't be starting school on Tuesday. I am extremely bummed and disappointed.

Birthdays

2011-08-25T08:15:00.000-07:00

Oops! Made it all week last week with posting everyday and here it is, Thursday and this is my first post of the week.

It has been a busy week with lots of fun, Sunday was my birthday and I celebrated with my first game at Target Field, Twins vs. Yankees. We lost, no surprise there considering they never seem to win against the Yankees. It was cool though to realize I was watching some of those players you always hear about - A. Rod, Rivera and others. I had a blast and Many thanks to Joel for taking me and to Tif for coming in from Colorado.

Aren't we a good looking trio?

Then of course there was a party at my house with lots of friends, great weather and just an overall good time, one of my best birthdays by far.

So, what did I get myself? Monday, Tif and I went to Saint Sabrina's to get piercings, she had her other nipple pierced to match the one she did last year. I was going to get my ears re-gauged but couldn't afford it so I did only my right nipple. It was definitely not what I had expected, a lot less painful and afterwards the added sensation while healing has been a pleasant surprise, hehe.

Let's see what else, there has been some knitting in there somewhere and just lots of hanging out with Tiffany including a second baseball game last night. We joined Joel and Marielle for the St Paul Saints game, so much fun.

I wish there were more and I am sure that there is but for now I will leave it at that.

Eh, Not Much!

2011-08-19T08:25:00.000-07:00

Made it through another week... this one was just kind of blah. Nothing major happened, no one was nasty and so far I haven't done anything special. Ok, that's not quite true...

Assuming I can get my crap in gear, I attended a Graduate School info session for the Masters in Social Work program at the University of MN. I know what I want to do and this program feels like it will be a perfect fit. My only concern is that most of my experience is in corporate and they want a minimum of a year in human services... I will have to discuss that a bit more to see how I can work that all into my personal statement.

The bunny is gone, I am sad! I had told my mom that I would find a bunny she got from a friend a good home. My roommates wanted to keep him but landlord (my roommmate's sister) vetoed that plan. Anyway, it made me realize that I want a pet and now I am considering a dog. Of course, landlord (Roommmate and his sister) can't seem to give me an answer on that one. Why is it a big deal? When I moved in the same roommate had a dog, an old decrepit, half blind and deaf dog that peed everywhere! so why can't they give me an answer.

In other news, I have been knitting, just not anything I can take pictures of, I am test knitting a shawl for a book my friend is working on... it has been a challenge but an enjoyable one.

Here's to a good weekend ahead!

Wednesday... Blah!

2011-08-17T07:57:00.000-07:00

Well I'm here... that's about all I can say at the moment. Yesterday was a decent day, ended crappy with me soaked from rain and going to bed without even eating dinner. Today seems to be better but my mood is in the toilet. So, why not look at some fun pics...

Bitchy!

2011-08-15T10:00:00.000-07:00

Okay, this is how my weekend started and it could be funnier. I went to Drunken Knit Night on Friday with my friend, Janine. We go every once in a while, the group meets monthly at a local Irish pub, usually a good time.

Anyway, I get there a little bit late and Janine had saved me a seat, I sit down and realize we are sitting directly across from Annie Modesitt. This is where it all takes a turn, about an hour after getting there, Annie asks about bus fare and I was able to give her the information she needed. She then proceeds to ask why Metro Transit doesn't have an app, I reply that their mobile site is excellent, especially if you know your bus number. At which point, she mentions she doesn't have very good internet service on her phone and I ask if it is an iphone and proceed to laugh. Annie just looks at me and then says why are you being Bitchy? I would never be Bitchy to something you said... OMG, I was just laughing at the fact that the iphone had failed...

Highlight of my weekend being called Bitchy... So how was your weekend, bitches?

TGIF!

2011-08-12T10:10:00.000-07:00

Wow! don't fall over but I think I have blogged every day this week, amazing!

So it's Friday, pretty slow and easy day today, planning on going to Drunk Knitting Night at a local Irish Pub. Can be a good time. Thankfully I have stupid knitting to work on so I don't have to worry about messing things up. I am working on the Brownstone by Brooklyntweed, it is looking amazing so far, almost done witht he first sleeve.

the rest of my weekend will be consumed with working at Columbia, who already called me to work tonight, going to the waterpark - hopefully and then probably making some jam. Plus a lot of relaxing I hope!

Happy Friday Bitches!

Pickled!

2011-08-11T08:39:00.000-07:00

And the crappy week just keeps on rolling!

So, last night I just wanted to relax for one night, I had planned on making pickled beets and had informed my roommates as such. The expecation this past spring was that WE (meaning all 3 of us) would grow things and do canning. I had to work on Tuesday night so I asked them to pull the beets so we could get started right away on Wednesday. I get home and one is "working" and the other is on his way out to do the shopping. I made the beets and cleaned up all by myself but I am still pissed off about it! I wanted so badly to sit around and knit but was in the kitchen until 9, ugh!

Why is it a big deal? Well I have been the only one taking care of the garden all summer and apparently the only one to do any of the canning. It is just worse because 5 minutes before I started, R asked me when we were canning and I looked at him and said, remember we are doing beets tonight so feel free to help. He showered and plopped his ass on the couch!

Well in any event I was able to get 14 pints of pickled beets, all from the garden, yum! I might be ambitious enough to night to make a new pepper jelly recipe or not, we will see.

I swear tomorrow's entry will be a postive one, no matter what!

Bad Wednesday

2011-08-10T09:09:00.001-07:00

This is turning out to be a crappy week! I am suffering the results of some of my own stupid decisions which is impacting my week. I have been putting off dealing with financial aid for a seminar I took at school in June and as a result my account is on hold and my classes for fall have been canceled.

I know what you are thinking and you are right, should have taken care of it sooner but I guess I was at a loss as how to make it work. Anyway, I need to take action to get it resolved and I can't seem to get there today... UGH!

Well on the bright side tonight I actually get to be at home, going to do some canning with my roomies, work on some knitting and just enjoy the evening. There is always tomorrow, right?

Irritated!

2011-08-09T06:49:00.000-07:00

I am feeling slightly annoyed today over really random stupid stuff... I need to let it go but can't seem to get there. I figure if I vent somewhere then perhaps I can move on.

So, I have a friend that is always crying that I never hang out with him or do things with him. The primary reason is that every time I make a suggestion to do something he tells me he is busy or cancels at the last minute. Through the mystical powers of Facebook, I found out that he canceled on me for his #1 girlfriend, trying to avoid saying Fag Hag. Anyway, they are always together, even quit their respective part time jobs at the YMCA so that they could work out together at a new LA Fitness, LAME! I am not sure why I am annoyed with it other than I am just getting tired of the whole game with him. We have plans to go to a waterpark this Sunday, my first day off after a 13 day stretch, I am expecting him to cancel. I know this all sounds petty but I think he set me off yesterday when he started to complaing about how inconvenienced he was by the Uptown Art Fair, even said it is a pain for those that live near by. I full understand what he is saying but he lives 15 blocks from where the Art Fair happened, he just couldn't get to his gym... in the mean time I was working right in the middle of the Art Fair area. Enough Said.

Who else has annoyed me? My roommate (R)... To get you caught up, he is a full time college student at 35 and does not work. Or rather he doesn't have an official job. His job this summer has been to work on various projects around the house, he owns the house with his sister, a second bathroom, upgrading the doors and finishing work he didn't get done last summer. My other roommate (J) and I both work full time M-F plus I have a second job. R will constantly tell me he works hard than I do all week... which I absolutely hate! I have reminded him on a number of occasions that yes, the work he does is more physical than mine but be no means does he work harder than me. For 2 weeks he has been working on the bathroom and the only thing that is working in there is the toilet... if he worked hard than my 66 hours a week, we should have a finished bathroom and many other things. Why so irriated by it now? Because I had to catch my bus at 7:04 and at 6:55 I was waiting for the bathroom in use by the guy that doesn't even have to leave the house to get to work!

Okay, so back to regular programming!

20 Year Reunion Survivor

2011-08-04T09:28:00.000-07:00

I survived! I attended my 20th class reunion this past weekend in Glendive, MT, yep I graduated with class of 1991 from Dawson County High School. I think it is safe to say that I was not excited to attend this reunion at all, dreading it would be an understatement. Why? Well my class was full of snobs and a lot of cliques. I didn't fit in and really wasn't friends with a lot of my classmates.

I am not sure why I went but there were a few people I really wanted to see who I knew were attending. We didn't even have half the class there... I was glad to see my friends Janis and Aisha and a few others who showed up. As I expected, the cliques picked up right where they left off, more so on Friday night than Saturday. Saturday night was fun, it wasn't so much about getting drunk or showing each other up and it was more low key people actually talked to each other.

I think the biggest surprise of the weekend was the number of young children... my class definitely fell into the new trend of marrying and having kids later in life. I remember when I went to my mom's 20 yr reunion, all the kids were my age and in their late teens to early twenties. Just an interesting observation.

All in all I am glad I attended and there were a few pleasant surprises from the weekend... still can't believe it has been 20 years!

20 years!

2011-07-29T11:49:00.000-07:00

Has it really been 20 years since I graduated high school? I am heading to Glendive, MT for my 20 yr class reunion this afternoon. I have to admit I am a bit excited but much more nervous. I didn't exactly graduate with the best group of people, my class was very mean, very snobby and had more cliques than I think we had students if that is possible. Not surprisingly I didn't have many friends in my graduating class so there are very few people I am looking forward to seeing this weekend but find myself going anyway.

Why am I going you ask? Well I just happen to be in Montana anyway, we had a family gathering last weekend and I stayed for a week to visit my mom so why not go. I am nervous for a number of reasons... nothing like a class reunion to make you reflect on your life and where are you are currently at... for me that is unemployed, well working 2 part time jobs and back in school full time. No partner to speak of and no kids... I see much of this as good things but will everyone else? who cares, right?

Anyway, I am sure I will have to much to write about after this weekend... well I do, I owe a semester recap, trip recap, pride, my fathers memorial tribute and the class reunion... here's to being busy writing next week!

Quick update and hopes to revive the blog

2011-07-25T12:15:00.000-07:00

Wow, I have been absent forever! Seems like I love to read blogs more than I like to write them. I have been doing so much in that absence and would like to believe that I can revive my blog but not sure it will happen.

Anyway, I spent a month in a Global Seminar for school in Amsterdam and Berlin. I hate to sound like a traveling virgin but I fell in LOVE with Berlin, I want to go back, I would love to live there if I could make it work out. Having never been to Europe I am concerned that this desire is just a reaction to being there for the first time. In any case, I have a lot to write about on that trip and I will post that later... just want to recap what I have been up to at the moment.

I have been working most of the summer and I am currently in Montana visiting family and preparing to attend my 20th class reunion. We just held our 5th annual Tribute for my dad, it was an amazing weekend with great weather and lots of fun. I am sad that my brothers weren't around more... one was here for part of the event and the other was absent. I was hoping we could have scattered dad's ashes as part of the weekend and so did mom but the my brothers absent and other drama it just didn't happen. I find it so hard to believe that dad has been gone over 4 years!

I am about 6 weeks away from school starting, my senior year and I am really looking forward to it. I hate that I am a bit overshadowed by some financial issues resulting from my trip... could cost me my registration for fall. Well that should be resolved shortly, I hope!

The rest of my summer will consist of starting to look at grad schools and applying. I am looking at a Masters of Social Work with clinical focus and applying to 3 schools in MN. I would like to apply to MT as well but I am not sure if I want to apply to a lot of schools or not.

Well that is it in a nutshell... look for more entries this week... about the trip and a few others as well.

Happy Easter

2011-04-23T12:44:00.000-07:00

Oops! How is that my last post was Christmas? I guess school has been keeping me way to busy... I am in Montana for Easter with my family, hope everyone has a blessed Easter.

Belated Merry Christmas

2010-12-27T14:37:00.000-08:00

I am wishing you all a belated very Merry Christmas!

At the moment enjoying some family time at the lake before heading back to Minneapolis Tuesday. Nice to have a break from school and work... trying not to obsess on my grades knowing that they won't be posted until January4.

I swear a timely New Year's post will be forthcoming.

Thanksgiving

2010-11-25T10:32:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving!

It Gets Better

2010-10-14T10:33:00.000-07:00

Monday was National Coming Out Day, I dedicated my Facebook status to the Human Rights Campaign and the number of kids who have taken their own lives because of bullying. I have been very saddened at the loss of so many young people because of bullying due to being gay or perceived to be gay.

On Facebook, I shared this video last night, with tears streaming down my face. As I am sure many of you have seen the countless video messages from every imaginable celebrity. Messages aiming to tell young GLBT kids that it does get better and that suicide isn't the answer. The video by Joel Burns has been one of the most impactful that I have come across... The video is long but the message is so important!

State Fair 2010 part 2

2010-09-06T19:55:00.001-07:00

As promised, here is part 2 of my state fair trip... mainly the creative activities building. One of my favorite parts of the fair now that I am a knitter is the creative activities building. It is always nice to see what people are entering tot he fair and how the judging is going.

This first item is a stranded sweater which is gorgeous and only received a 2nd place ribbon. My friend, Janine explained that she thinks part of the reason for the 2nd place is due the fact that most the colors was achieved from a hand dyed, long self striping yarn. Regardless, I love what this yarn did and the overall effect.

Loved the Watermelon socks in the picture below... nuff said!

I took a picture of this fish hat for my mom... she has been knitting these like mad and thought she would get a kick out of the 2nd place ribbon.

The next 2 pictures are of the giant fish hat that was done by some women at a yarn shop in Lindstrom, MN. I think that it is hilarious that they were able to make this huge replica of the fish hat, I think I had heard/read somewhere that they enlarged the pattern by 15x's.
Quilt pics... not a quilter but enjoy looking at them, I really liked this one.

My mom and I are always finding music fabric everywhere and she has made a gorgeous music quilt and some beautiful table runners. I saw this quilt at the fair and LOVED the overall look and design. Mom said on the phone tonight that we might be able to make a deal if I can find some sort of pattern for this one.
Really enjoyed the creative activities building and overall had a great experience. My only disappointment is that yet again I haven't seen a birth at the Miracle of Birth barn. We did just miss a calf being born but did get to see it stand for the first time and see it's first bottle feeding.

I am sad the fair has ended, mainly because it means summer is over and that fall has arrived... boo! Of course there is always a good side and this year it means beginning school at the University of MN, tomorrow is my first day of classes as a golden gopher.

State Fair 2010

2010-09-05T10:03:00.000-07:00

I recently made my annual pilgrimage to the great MN get together... the state fair. Managed to make it there twice, less than normal but still just right. As usual I had a great time and weather wise, one day was HOT and dare I say, the second trip was almost cold. All in all, I managed to see everything I wanted to. I would almost say I am a freak about the State Fair, not really sure why... I just thoroughly enjoy every aspect of it.

The animal barns usually rotate animals on a 4 day basis and the opening weekend is bunny weekend in the poultry barn. When I went on the first Friday with my friend Terri that was the only barn we managed to go through... I will leave the reasons why out. In any case, I saw lots of rabbits and for the first time actually watched some of the judging which was neat. I saw a lot of lops (my favorite), some lionheads and this year there were actually some Angora's. If I ever get to have a house rabbit again, I am so getting an Angora!
And of course there were chickens... One that Jamie named Phyllis Diller and even one with an egg!

I managed to see some Llamas and of course Miniature Dairy Goats as well as the horse Show.
And of course there was knitting and tons of food... will post save that for my next post!

Tribute Weekend

2010-07-19T10:43:00.000-07:00

This past weekend, we had our annual tribute to my dad, I can't believe it was the fourth one already. We wanted to do something to honor my dad's memory and have a lot of fun in the process. As a family we host a weekend for my dad's friends and family that includes a fun fishing derby as well as a fun run (poker run) and potluck.

The weekend seemed to be starting out with a lot of drama between my mom and my brother's wife. Nothing like having your mom emailing you via facebook while you are stuck on greyhound and can't do anything about it. All in all, the drama pretty much subsided by Friday morning and things seemed to be good.

The past few years have been marked by a very windy start causing a delay in the start of the fishing derby, this year was no exception. I have decided that this was my dad having a little fun at every one's expense, ha ha! Eventually the wind died down and it made for a fantastic day on the water... I even managed to get out on a boat. Spent most of the weekend on my cousins boat, hanging out and tubing, well only went tubing on Saturday. Had a couple of falls from the tube that made me wimp out on Sunday. The big fall involved getting the tube four feet in the air at which point I fell off, landed horizontal and proceed to barrel roll a few times before finally going into the water... after a bit of convincing I did get back on the tube. Again, JD decided we needed a crazy bumpy ride which was fun until I bounced high and ended up elbowing Marissa in the chin, we were both done... at least I tried to do ride the tube again.

The rest of the weekend involved a lot of family time and sad goodbyes on Sunday... I hate that part. While you get a little crazy with so many people around, it is a bummer saying goodbye. I have to come hate Sunday afternoons at the lake, they are bittersweet.

Here's to another year dad!

Eh... not much new!

2010-07-12T18:54:00.000-07:00

hmm... only issue with blogging more often is having to come up with things to talk about.

I think the biggest thing going on right now is that I am heading out to Montana on Thursday evening. We are having the 4th Monte Jarvis Fishing Tribute this weekend, I can't believe it is the fourth one already. Some days it is hard to believe that my dad is gone and others it is amazing to think it is already 4 years. In any case, it is looking like a great weekend to be with friends and family.

The other big thing going on for me is that I am applying for a Part Time Educator position with Minnesota AIDS Project. I really have my fingers crossed for this position, with my school plans this would be a great opportunity.

I am sure I could come up with something to write about but for now this is hit...

Summer Update

2010-07-09T19:25:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged in a while and figured I would provide a school update and a summer update. I am trying to make a pledge with myself to blog more often... we will see how that goes!

While the school decisions were very difficult I have finally made one. I will be staying in Minnesota and attending the U of M. As you may recall, I wasn't accepted to the School of Music and therefore not accepted into Music Therapy. After a lot of soul searching and discussing with friends and family, I made a decision on a new major. I am going to complete my undergrad with a B.A. of Psychology and minoring in GLBT studies. Part of doing a bachelor of arts requires 2 year of language which I have not taken, this means taking 2 years of Sign Language. I am really looking forward to this new adventure!

In regards to the summer I am not taking summer classes due to transferring in the fall. I am just enjoying the summer or at least trying too. I am working part time at Columbia Sportswear Company at their new store in Uptown, which is great considering it is only 5 blocks from home but the commission is definitely less. Again this year I planted a garden and that is definitely keeping me busy, especially battling the damn Squirrels! I will post some pictures on another post... need to get a current pic...

Peace!

School Update

2010-05-05T20:37:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted in ages... school has definitely been keeping me busy, time for an update. There has been a lot happening on the school front lately.

In February I auditioned for Music Therapy at the University of MN School of Music, I think that the audition went okay but it definitely could have went better. In addition to the audition I had to complete an interview with the directors of Music Therapy, that definitely went well. After waiting almost two months, I received my thanks but no thanks letter from School of Music. Initially I was very upset but more so I was disappointed. After being laid off from Target and going back to school my only plan was to complete my Bachelor's degree in Music Therapy so I felt like my plans were completely derailed. I decided that I should email the school of music to get some feedback from my audition and to see if I could audition again. Unfortunately I was told that you needed to be invited back by faculty to audition again, I pushed for more information and was bluntly told to move on... if I really wanted to wait I could audition again after one year. In any case, I was accepted to the University of MN of I wanted to pursue a different degree so at least I had options.

Why didn't I audition elsewhere you might ask? Well most schools that have a decent music program require and audition and I knew I was past the audition deadline. Considering I wanted to go for Music Therapy there aren't that many programs out there so I contacted Colorado State University in Fort Collins, CO to see if they could still hear my audition. I heard back from the Saxophone instructor indicating that he still had room in his studio and would be willing to hear my audition. I went to Fort Collins and auditioned on April 22, I thought it went well, I definitely performed my audition piece better than I did at the U of M. After the audition I found out that the sax studio was already overfull, this happened after we scheduled my audition. Anyway, I heard from CSU last Friday and I am in but on the wait list for a spot to open since the studio is overfull. As of the email, it doesn't look good for the fall semester but I can choose to stay on the wait list and see what happens.

So what's next? I am not sure, I definitely have some options and at the moment I truly and completely on the fence not really leaning either way. If I chose to stay in Minneapolis, I will probably stay here and major in either psychology or family and social sciences with a minor in GLBT studies. Or I could move to Fort Collins and completely my music therapy degree, this would work out the following... I could enroll in the fall, take a few classes that CSU requires that I am short and hopefully enroll in my program in the spring.

So why write here? I needed to get these thoughts out of my head, I need to make a decision but just can't get there. I am feeling like I could go either way... in some ways it would it be nice to stay where I am with my friends and just get done with school. On the other hand, it would be nice to have a change of scenery and I could actually get a degree in music. I know that a big part of my decision is to finally submit my Financial Aid application but I just can't make myself click submit... UGH! decisions suck!

BTW I am on track to complete this semester with a 4.0 which gives me a 4.0 for my first year back, yay!

Lifespan Development

2010-02-23T11:55:00.000-08:00

Two posts in one day? You must think I am sick...

Okay, so here is the real reason for posting today but I wanted this topic to be a separate post. I am currently taking a psychology class - Lifespan Development and have had some amazing discussions both online and in class this week. I needed to post about these topics because in some ways it was so exhilirating to be discussing these topics but it also has left me feeling a little off about things at the moment.

The first discussion was in class last Wednesday, we started class off with discussing whether or not Gay and Lesbian couples should be allowed to adopt, why or why not. The point of the discussion was to keep it related to the developmental theories that we have discussed in class thus far. For the most part many of my classmates didn't see a problem and actually felt that a child should be in a loving situation regardless of who their parents are. As expected, there were a few people in class who had to bring the bible into the discussion and really challenge everything. Like a good person I did make sure to speak up and not just bite my tongue like normal.

The second discussion was an online discussion assignment due this week, we were supposed to watch a video of a 20/20 with Barbara Walters involving Transgendered children. Specifically we were supposed to discuss who the theories from class account for transgendered children. I posted my response today but I am still so upset. I really kept mine to the point and related it all to class in the meantime fighting the urge to call many of my classmates closed minded idiots. I recognize that this was an opportunity for me to educate and tried my best to do so in my post. I am still required to reply to a classmates post but I haven't gotten to that part yet... I have til Friday to do that part. Transgendered is a tough subject an even for me I have my moments but none the less being supportive of a person or child is so important.

Okay, I feel a bit better... I will have to post a follow-up later this week and let you all know how the rest of this week's posts go on this topic. I need to get to work on my observation paper for this class.

An Overdue Update

2010-02-23T11:44:00.000-08:00

Wow! So much for keeping this blog alive... and really so much for turning it into a learning journal for school. Well then I suppose you are wondering why I am suddenly feeling the need to write?

A few reasons but first I figured I should give an update on things. The biggest update is that I had my audition for the U of MN School of Music on February 6th. Overall I think it went really well but I can't deny that there were a few parts that could have gone better. I had to play 2 pieces, one fast and one slow... on my fast movement my nerves got in the way and I managed to get off tempo twice and fumble a few fingerings. Oddly enough, Dr. Rousseau was tapping his foot and I responded by getting back to my tempo... so I think that was good. My slow movement went really well, no intonation issues or tempo issues. Scales and sight reading were minimal and went well so like I said overall it went very well. I have my fingers crossed and have made peace with the fact that at this point I have done all that I can.

I also had my interview that afternoon with the Music Therapy department, that went fantastically! I think we had excellent rapport, my energy, enthusiasm and personality really shown through. I think that this interview will definitely be enough to make up for any issues from the audition part.

Other than I am just trying to get into my classes and struggling a little bit. Mostly struggling with enjoying my classes this semester as much as I did last semester. Who knew that pottery could be so hard!

Woo Hoo! 4.0 GPA

2010-01-01T12:30:00.000-08:00

Woo Hoo! I made a 4.0 GPA for my first semester back in college, yay for me! I realize I initially I wanted to make this a learning log and clearly ran out of time for it this semester...

Anyway, I really enjoyed my first semester back and I am so pleased with my grades. I learned a lot but most importantly I learned that I really like being in school. I have a new found joy in studying Chemistry and made a lot of progress in my private lessons. Cheers to the semester ahead, I have some very interesting classes... Ecofeminism Development, Lifespan Development (Abnormal Psyh wasn't offered), Ceramics (I need a Fine Arts credit) and my lessons.

With that I need everyone to think positive thoughts and wish me luck, I applied to the University of Minnesota School of Music to complete my degree in Music Therapy. My audition is scheduled for February 6, yikes!

Perfect Chemistry Exam!

2009-11-01T15:22:00.000-08:00

I am a bad, bad blogger, I made a commitment to post more often about things going on in school frequently and I haven't posted in a while. Anyway, it has been really busy lately, was in Montana for 2 weddings and then my mom came to Minneapolis to visit, she has been here a week and leaves on Wednesday. Needless to say she has caused some of my good habits to go out the window, oops!

We had our second exam in Chemistry in Your Life 2 weeks ago, I am pleased to say that I scored 103%!!! YAY! I didn't feel like I studied that much for this exam, I guess I completely understood the topic, here is to one more exam, if i do this well again then I don't have to take the last exam... you know what I am shooting for! Other than that things are status quo, struggling a bit with my second essay exam for Global Studies, I am going to ask for an extension tomorrow, keep your finger crossed for me.

The only other big thing going on is that I need to register for next semester. I am concerned because it looks like MCTC is not going to accept my English Communication 101 class. This puzzles me since they did take English Comm 102?!?!?!

Anyway, not much knitting going on and I am definitely behind on practicing my saxophone, perhaps being a music major isn't a good idea????? Who knows, I just have to take each day as it comes.

Smokers, lessons and delayed assignments

2009-10-16T11:43:00.000-07:00

So... In my last post I talked about this working as a learning log or journal for school but I don't know that I want to write about class every day. Maybe just when something really awesome happens or I am completely struck by a topic from class...

Anyway, I am going to Minneapolis Community Technical College to complete some general education requirements I need to transfer to the University of Minnesota. MCTC is a pretty large school and the student population is really diverse in age which is great for me. My biggest issue with going to school there is the smoking... everyone seems to smoke! I swear for the amount of second hand smoke I am inhaling I might as well start smoking. What is even more baffling to me is that the school has posted HUGE no smoking outsides at every entrance and still they stand right there smoking, don't you have to be able to read to get into college?!?!?

One of the good things that happened this week, I went to my saxophone lesson feeling very untalented but had a great lesson. I am learning a lot of things about the saxophone and ways to manipulate my sound using my throat. I am amazed at how much my tone has changed... I do seem to be struggling with finding time to practice but I have actually practiced already today so yay for me.

And my only class related rant of the week - I had a 2 page essay due for Intercultural Communications, discussing a significant cultural event that took place over the last 200 years. I knew I wanted to write about the Stonewall Riots and figured I could really nail the assignment. For fun, I checked out Stonewall, the Riots that Sparked the Gay Revolution by David Carter. Well that changed everything and it took me 3 hours to write the darn essay. Needless to say, our prof pushed back the assignment to next week since no one else was ready. At least I got it done!

Well here is to hopefully a good weekend, working tomorrow, hope it is like last week and super busy!

Reinvention of the blog!

2009-10-13T11:26:00.000-07:00

Hello out there! Does anyone read this thing? Well I don't blame you if you stopped reading since I haven't posted in so long... I have decided that I want to revamp how and what I do on my blog

As some of you know, I was laid off from Target in January and have been looking for my next adventure. To bring you up to date, still looking for a new full time job, haven't had much luck on that part but I am working Part Time at Columbia Sportswear at the Mall of America and I am actually enjoying it. The BIG news about my new adventure is that I am FINALLY back in school full time. I started at MCTC in August, taking a few general education requirements I need to transfer to the University of MN.

My intention is to go to the U of M and finish my undergrad degree in Music Therapy. I expect that in some cases you might get a bit bored reading all about school. I intend to use this blog as a learning journal or at least to write about things I am doing/learning. No worries, I am sure that there will still be some knitting news and other things as well! So here is to a new start...

Shawnee

Day of Sad News

2009-06-25T18:02:00.001-07:00

Today has been quite a shocking one!

First, we learned of the sad passing of Farrah Fawcett

Second, the very shocking news of Michael Jackson

As a kid I loved watching Charlie's Angels and just couldn't get enough of Michael Jackson's music. As a friend on Facebook stated, we all remember the 80's and watching MTV when Thriller first was shown.

RIP!

2009-06-20T22:10:00.001-07:00

Woo Hoo my first mobile post. Nothing important to say!

What is a Sousaphone?

2009-06-08T22:16:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I know I have been absent and here comes a random post but just go with it.

I was watching the Jimmy Fallon Show on Monday 6/08/09, apparently they play a game called lick it for ten. In a nutshell someone licks an item and gets $10, I think it is usually an audience member.

Tonight, Kelly Rippa was a guest and said she would play the game. Since this wasn't planned, Jimmy had to wing it for Kelly. The approach the band and it turns out she is going to lick Tuba player's Sousaphone. Kelly didn't know what a Sousaphone was and asked the Tuba player. The PROFESSIONAL Tuba player couldn't explain what a Sousaphone was!

How can you be a professional musician and not be able to explain what your instrument is?!?! Clearly a Sousaphone is a marching Tuba!

I am just saying

Planes, Trains and Automobiles

2009-04-22T09:02:00.000-07:00

Wow! It has been a while since I last posted but I must tell you about my recent trip to Montana. The last 2 trips I have made have been plagued by delays, when I went to visit my mom in March I was delayed by a day due to roads closed in ND for snow. This time it was worse!

So, I took the Train to Montana for Easter, everything went perfectly well until it was time to come home.

I receive a computerized phone call stating that my train was canceled. I called in and spoke with an Agent to find out that the all trains were canceled until further notice due to water over the tracks in ND. The following day, my mom's neighbor was able to get on the train to Seattle so I called back to find out the status on my train. I was told that my train would depart but wouldn't stop in ND as it would detour, Excellent!

Day of my departure I call to see if my train was running on time, I spoke to the RUDEST agent who informed me I would only get as far as Minot, ND and that I had no other options. I had to remind her that I was her guest and that I did have other options that didn't include Amtrak. I hung up, angry I called back to get correct information and the next Agent was super nice and explained everything... but I wouldn't be getting on the train, UGH!

here were my options:
Go West on the train to go East: Glasgow, MT to Seattle, WA; then Seattle, WA to Sacramento, CA; then Sacramento, CA to Chicago, IL; then to Chicago, IL to St Paul taking 4 days to go.

Or

I could rent a one way car from Glasgow or Glendive and drive home, rental was almost $600

Or

I could go back to Glendive and take the Greyhound bus to Minneapolis, which is always full.

What did I do? I took the Greyhound and in a rare case, there were only 11 people on the bus instead of being packed!!!!

Checking in on my 2009 Goals!

2009-02-04T12:28:00.000-08:00

I was just thinking that I should do an update for January, after all I posted goals for the year instead of Resolutions and I have made progress on some them and other's not so much! Besides doing this is more fun than working on my resume... I can't find the flash drive I have it saved on so now I have the joy of recreating the whole thing!

My knitting goal was to finish at least one project a month, we can do a big check mark for that one. I finished several projects but I didn't finish my hoodie sweater which I had decided would be done by January 31. To be fair, I ran into a snag and didn't have enough yarn to finish it but I the yarn is here so hopefully soon I will get it done.

I made this fun fur Christmas tree, I know pointless to finish after Christmas but it was quick, portable and completed in time to put away with all the rest of the holiday stuff. I had actually bought the fun fur at a clearance sale in Glendive last year. I think I purchased 10 skeins for $8 or something ridiculous like that. The pattern can be found here

I would change a few things about the tree, this one is very round and wide, I would like it to be taller and narrower. I think with a few modifications to the pattern I can achieve the look I want. Plus I have more than enough yarnto try it a few times. Miguel has of course already ordered a blue one!

Of course, I had to complete the re-knit of the Swell I made for my nephew Auston, the one I made a Christmas was a little small for his head. Picture is below and one of me modeling it as well!

Let me see, what else haveI done... I made a simple dishsloth for Jamie's boyfriend, Keith. This was just a simple pattern, quick knit and then I also made a matching Tribble. The Tribble is ingenious, uses very little yarn and it is a very quick knit. I think spent 2 hours total on the dishcloth and Tribble. For Jamie's birthday I gave him 2 dishcloths so I made him 2 tribbles to match as well.

In regards to my non-knitting goals, I have been running an average of 3-4 miles a day, 3 times a week. Unfortunately my running progress did get a little derailed this past week and a half. Mainly because I am so used to going to the gym before work but I don't get up for work so the schedule is struggling a little bit. Then I picked up Miguel's nasty cold late last week and that has just worn me out. I think things will get back to normal shortly, I managed to get up for Bodyflow yesterday, it was tough but it felt good to be back at the gym.

Clearly I failed my 2009 goal of keeping my job so we will change that one to finding a really good new job!

That is about all for now...

Now What?

2009-01-29T13:52:00.001-08:00

Today is Day 2 of being unemployed for me and I am wondering Now What?

Some of you have may have heard the news from Target, I was one of the 600 Headquarter's people let go on Tuesday. Read about it here. I don't feel it necessary to go into the details, feel free to read the post article.

I also won't go into details about what we are offered, I received a very fair package and I am comfortable with it.

So then, why I am writing this entry? Well, some of you may find this surprising, this is the first time I have ever been laid off or fired in my professional career. Needless to say I am not really sure how this is supposed to feel or work. I have decided to take a few days off to just deal with the emotion of losing a job. Especially losing my Target family, as corny as that may sound. I worked in a great department, we were a very close knit group and everyone is so amazing, it has only been two days and I miss seeing them.

I have to say I am glad I am giving myself some time, this afternoon I was so angry. Angry that I wasn't at work, Angry that I am looking for a job. Angry that to some at Target, the perception is that the poor performer's were the one's let go. I am not a poor performer, I don't know how to be a poor performer. Okay, I will admit to being lazy at home sometimes but still...

Believe it or not, I am still optimistic about my job search. At this point, the only door closed to me is other options with Target, there are opportunities. I am lucky, I have been given the gift of time to really figure out my next steps.

A Knitting Nightmare

2009-01-18T15:29:00.000-08:00

I have now been faced with a knitting nightmare, out of yarn to finish a sweater. No big deal, right? WRONG! The LYS I purchased from is out and it would seem that no shops in the Twin Cities have the yarn or colorway I need. So, this was going to be my first finished project for 2009, mainly so I could finally say I am done! Keep your fingers crossed we find the yarn or should you happen to have this yarn and colorway sitting around contact me!

Here is the deal, I puchased and ordered the yarn for this sweater - Classic Elite Four Seasons, colorway 7658(red), dye lot 69503 in August of 2007. Tif and I triple checked the yardage I needed to make sure we ordered enough. Now almost a year and half later I am finally close to finishing sweater and I am now out of yarn.

I am not sure that I have actually used all the yarn but I believe I have misplaced the remaining yarn. Since I started the sweater, I have moved so it is entirely possible that I have lost the yarn.

So, feel free to comment with suggestions on where to find more of my yarn or a good suggestion for what to do with my ALMOST finished sweater.

No Resolutions for me

2009-01-04T13:45:00.000-08:00

Have you decided on your resolutions yet? Personally, I don't believe in resolutions, it is to easy to set yourself up for failure. I usually try to ring in the New Year but deciding on a few things I hope to accomplish and the tone I want to set for the year so here I will post my goals for 2009:

1. Focus on keeping my job, it has been stated that there will be layoffs this year
2. Continue with my training in Meditation
3. My Knitting goal is to finish at minimum one project per month
4. Run at least one half marathon
5. Bike to work at least 3 days a week this summer
6. If I can make it happen, go for a horse back ride
7. Again, if I can make it happen, go to Glacier National Park

What are your goals for the year?!?

Welcome 2009

2009-01-01T07:33:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!

Wow, where did December go and 2008? I can't believe another year is gone, although I am looking forward to the next year. I am going to do a small recap in this post and end with some goals for 2009... so here goes

I started out 2008 with my mom visiting for the most of the month of January, she came home with me after Christmas to recuperate from shoulder surgery. It was fun to have mom around that month and it was hard to realize why she was here. Of course, she did my laundry and made me several quilts, my mommy is so nice!

I made the decision to leave one of my part time jobs, in April I quit working part time at the Downtown YMCA. I was feeling stuck and decided it was no longer benefitting me to stay. I was happy to stay at 3 Kittens part time but they had other plans. In May, 3 Kittens let me go due to a change in how they were staffing and an impending move. Needless to say that left me only working at Target full time, which for the summer was good so we will see if there is another part time job in my future.

At the end of May I said goodbye to my best friend, Tif. She moved to NC to live with her girlfriend, Kris. They had been in a long distance relationship for a year and decided it was time to make some changes. This was a hard change because Tif and I did a lot of things together and I viewed her as my connection to knitting. She was after all the person that convinced me to learn to knit. I will admit that for several months I struggled with continuing my knitting but I knit through it and have been knitting like mad.

I had a pretty quiet, lazy summer, went to Pride but wasn't really into it. I met Angel right after Pride and we dated for most of the summer but I didn't find the relationship to be all that fulfilling so I broke it off in September. In a lot of ways I am glad I did, Angel was very sweet but very controlling. I didn't have a lot of the freedom I was used to which made things very difficult for me. Plus I found myself staying in with Angel a lot and I feel like I watched summer just drift by...

In September I went to Las Vegas with my brother and his wife. This was my first trip to Vega and I did have a lot of fun. I didn't gamble which is fine since I am not big into gambling as it is. We did walk the strip a lot and I saw more than enough... lots of people watching!

The best part of the trip for me was our tour of Hoover Dam and the Grand Canyon. We went to the Skywalk, which was amazing and so scary at the same time. My brother and sister-in-law joked that I was finding myself at the Grand Canyon! LOL!

Jamie and I have commented several times lately that we are just amazed at how many concerts/shows we saw this year so I am going to close with a list of those events... Later today I think I will post my goals/concerns for 2009... not resolutions but goals!

List of concerts, shows, people we saw, not a bad list I think

*Maya Angelou

*Dave Koz at the Zoo

*Hedwig and the Angry Inch

*Le Reve - Cirque inspired show in las Vegas

*Madonna - Chicago

*Chris Botti w/Minnesota Orchestra

*Wicked - Twice

*Dihann Carrol w/Minnesota Orchestra

*Michael W. Smith

Here are some pictures of 3 of my favorite blessings! Zoe is modeling the mittens and hat that I quickly knit while in Montana and then you have Tristen and Tatum climbing all over the bunk beds at my moms, those boys are nothing but trouble!

Meditation here we come!

2008-12-07T08:24:00.000-08:00

Yesterday Jamie and I went to an Introduction to Meditation class at the Minneapolis Shambala Center. The class was scheduled for 3 hours and I was really pleased with it, although I have to admit that is a heck of a lot of meditating!

I have been doing Bodyflow at the downtown YMCA for a year and part of our class ends with relaxation. My interest has stemmed from going to the class and really enjoying the clarity I feel afterwards. In the meditation class we practiced sitting and walking meditation, I was so happy for the walking meditation breaks.

All in all I really enjoyed the class and did pretty good. It was funny though because most in the class said they had the best success at the end of the class. For whatever reason I had the most success at the beginning of the class.

More to come on my meditation practice

Dave Koz at the Zoo

2008-11-13T18:55:00.000-08:00

Guess what kids, we are up to the end of July and going to the Dave Koz concert at the Minnesota Zoo. My friend Sue is absolutely crazy about Dave Koz so she got together a group of us to go to the concert at the zoo. I really liked this concert better than the others... This one was all Dave and had his regular drummer who I think is way HOT! I took Jamie along with me and he seemed to really enjoy it which made the concert even more fun for me. I especially enjoyed watching Dave play his sax, I could actually see what notes he was playing! The cool thing about the picture below is his Tenor Sax - is actually 2 different saxes combined for their sound.
We stayed after the concert and met Dave for the first time. It was really cool because he signed my ticked and I was able to have a conversation with him about his saxophones. I especially liked learning that his Soprano sax is a 1918 Conn. The picture below is my friend, Sue with Dave Koz, this totally made her year!

Still Recapping Summer

2008-11-08T17:08:00.000-08:00

So I am still trying to finish recapping my summer since I chose not to blog and I still have a lot of events to talk about!

Over Fourth of July my mom hosted a family reunion at her house on Fort Peck Reservoir. My friend Miguel drove out with me and we brought his jet ski along, sadly that trip killed his jet ski. Anyway with gas prices as high as they were over the summer, we picked up to riders via craigslist. I know crazy right! A guy that rode as far as Bismarck with us and then a girl going to the UofM rode all the way to Glendive. Made for a fun trip home.

So the picture below is my mom's backyard full of tents, there were 40 people staying at my mom's for the weekend. We had a few people at the marina, in a cabin next door and in tents as you can see in the backyard. It was crazy, the second night we were there, there was a huge storm with strong winds and all those tents were flat on the ground.

The best part of the trip was spending time with all of my cousins and my niece and nephews. This pic is Tristen and Tatum, they are about a year apart and fight all the time. They are destined to be best buds when they get older.

All in all, it was a great 4th of July, lots of food, drink and fireworks. Miguel and I brought tons of huge fireworks with us from Wisconsin. So that is all there is to say about the weekend, glad I went and glad I brought Miguel along with me.

Blogging Absence

2008-10-19T13:49:00.000-07:00

Okay, I know I have been horrible about blogging... my last post was almost 2 months ago. I just haven't wanted to invest the time into blogging when I am finally at home. Why is today different? It is a beautiful fall day and I am a little depressed because there are leaves everywhere. I hate this time of year, the trees are bare, it is cold and sunny, pure torture if you ask me.

So, I am going to take a couple of posts during this drab fall time and recap my summer in mostly pictures.

We will cover pride, this year I kept my plans pretty loose, volunteered at the Target booth on Saturday afternoon and then Sue and Jamie met up with me. We walked around enjoyed the park and the food. Jamie and I just after we met up...

While at the park we ran into Jamie's friend Patrick and his niece, they hung out with us for a while. We at Joe's Garage and then had some Superhore Politics fun.

That evening, Omar and his friends had wanted to go to Camp in St Paul but I wasn't up for having to worry about sober cap from St. Paul. Sue, Jamie and I went to the Gay 90's. The very first time I ever saw a drag queen, it was Camille Collins performing Moo Moo Land. A few years ago Camille retired the number and costume as it was barely making any money on a Pride weekend. I was so glad to see that she brought it back this year. 13 years after seeing her the first time, I had my picture taken with Camille, I love this one!

And another pictrure of me with a drag queen, my favorite girl, Nina DiAngelo!

NOT Omar's Lid

2008-08-14T17:50:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged about projects lately... I think it is mostly due to the fact that I haven't been working on much. I guess I have been a little bored with it all or uninspired but that seems to be turning around now.

I just finished the Lidsville from Son of Stitch'n Bitch, I made the hat with Berrocco's Touche in a Taupe color for my friend Omar but we aren't friend's anymore so now it is mine. This is actually a crocheted hat and I used an I hook, this was a very quick project.

Assuming that Omar is still interested in the hat and willing to let me take his picture wearing the hat, I will post that picture later. Needless to say Omar and I aren't friends so the hat is mine! hehehe

Roses from a Boy

2008-07-20T10:29:00.000-07:00

I recently met a guy, A, we met at my concert on July 10 for the first time and have seen each other almost every day since then. We talked for a while online before meeting and he is really shy which is so cute!

Belief it or not, I have never received flowers from a boyfriend before, these are the roses that A gave me on Thursday! And I must say great first flowers!

I am sure that there will be more to come on this front.

P.S. I will post sooner and the next post will be about my trip home!

Night Out

2008-06-02T19:57:00.000-07:00

So, Saturday night Jamie and I went out to Camp. On the dance floor were some super slim, young white guys dancing or at least trying... I turned to Jamie and said:

"They aren't even dancing, that is just posing!"

Goodbye Y!

2008-04-20T18:05:00.001-07:00

Last Thursday, I worked my last shift at the YMCA. I thought I would work there forever... but it turned out to be a 4 year gig!

This was a really hard decision, worried about losing my relationships... At the end of the day it was the right decision.

Here's to the YMCA!

Miss you Dad

2008-03-25T19:25:00.000-07:00

It was one year ago that my life changed in away I never anticipated, my dad passed away on 03/26/07.

Miss you lots!

Riding the Bus

2008-03-25T16:16:00.000-07:00

I ride the same bus home from work everyday at 5:03. Recently Metro Transit put 150 new hybrid buses into service most of which end up being my route. I applaud them for this effort butI do not like the new buses. These buses have much less room and are always, I mean ALWAYS full. I don't mind standing but even that is problematic as the aisles are narrower as well.

Anyway, I wasn't writing about that... One of my pet peeves when riding the bus during rush hour is the stupidity of other commuters. So often people are having to stand and you have people that take up a seat plus the one next to them with their stuff. I mean hello, it is rush hour, the bus is packed and some little old person needs to stand up. How hard is it to put your crap on the floor or your lap so that people don't have to stand.

So that is all for this rant!

This Little Lite of Mine

2008-03-15T18:57:00.000-07:00

There are so many times that I have been so blessed by the opportunities provided to me. I have recently joined the Advisory Team of the GLBT Business Council at work. It is so good to be working on matters of diversity. The Business Council received tickets to see Maya Aneglou at Orchestra Hall. The GLBT Business Council allowed members of the Steering Committee and Advisor Team to have 2 tickets each, I was lucky enough to receive 2 of the tickets.

Last night, Jamie and I went to see Maya Angelou. I cant even try to recap her speech and the poems she read. She began and ended the evening by singing This Little Lite of Mine. Her theme really was that all of human kind are alike and we are all a light that can make change. The evening was definitely a memborable and inspiring evening.

I wish I could truly capture the evening but other than to say the 90 minutes felt like just a few is all I can muster.

First ever Norwegian Project

2008-03-02T06:29:00.000-08:00

I am still so behind on updating you on my knittng progress, I guess I should try to post more often to catch up.

I took a class at 3 Kittens Needle Arts on Norwegian Knitting taught by my friend Janine. She used a teddy bear sweater pattern to teach us the technique, I liked that idea except now I have a little sweater I don't know what to do with. Janine's theory is that because we are doing Steeks (cutting your knitting) you should do it on a small project so that it isn't as scary.

For the project we used Dale of Norway Falk, I chose red and brown for my sweater and I think it turned out quite well. As you may or may not know, you are carrying a color in each hand which required using continental in the left hand. I am really bad at continental knitting but managed to pick it up pretty well during this class.

I really enjoyed the project and taking the class, it was very interesting to learn this technique. I especially enjoyed knitting the sleeve caps, putting a little message in the sleeve. I think the most thrilling part of the project was doing the steeks. My first time ever using a sewing machine and cutting knitting!

Can't wait to do this type of project again!

The Orange Beast

2008-02-22T19:31:00.000-08:00

So, I thought I had some pictures for the orange beast but it turns out that I don't have any. Needless to say a post about it will have to do.

My brother has said on more than one occasion that no one ever makes him anything. The timing was perfect because right after he said it, I found a bag of obnoxious orange yarn at 3 Kittens Overstock for $15! My brother is a hunter so I figured this orange yarn would make the perfect hunting vest. I was having trouble finding a pattern for a vest so I was able to use the Sweater Wizard software to come up with a patter and away we went. Now, I call this thing a beast because it was huge and seemed to never end. While my mom was visiting in January, I made it my mission to finish the vest so that she could take it home with her.

Mission accomplished, finished the sweater and all I had to do was block it... WRONG!! The sweater was more acrylic than wool so rather than do what it is supposed to when blocking it grew in lenght by 6 inches I swear. Before blocking the sweater hit me right at the waist, perfect! Blocked it and the bottom hem was halfway down my thighs!!! UGH!

I figured might as well give it to my brother, after all I did knit and managed to get it done! Still trying to see if my brother will send me some pics...

Soon, I will post about mom's visit to Minneapolis

Moving On!

2008-02-09T17:44:00.000-08:00

I think I should do a quick update...

I think I can say that I am officially done grieving for Heath. Knowing the cause of death and that he has been laid to rest in Perth, Australia seems to help with moving. I am still puzzled by why I was so wrapped up with his passing.

I went to our men's knit night last night, had a great time. I purchased 2 new books, ones that I have been thinking about for a while -Knitting for Him by Rowan and Jaeger Handknits- 16 designer men's garments using matchmaker merino and extra fine merino dk. The Rowan book has some great sweaters in it, I can't wait to give them a try and the Jaeger book has a CAMOFLOUGE sweater! I can't wait to make that sweater and use the chart to make a camo felted messenger bag, WOO HOO!

It seems like I have caught a cold but I don't feel like I am sick. I have had a scratchy throat for the past couple of days. Yesterday it was bad, several times during the day I didn't have much of a voice. Seems to come and go, today has been the same thing. I have been drinking some tea to help but I don't really like the tea I am drinking. I don't know a lot about tea so I never know what to buy or what is the better kind to have online. Nor am I sure how long lipton tea bags last... OY!

Well, I think that is it for now, next post I will share pictures of the disaster of a hunting vest I made my brother. You will really enjoy that post, trust me!

Heath Ledger Reprise

2008-01-26T11:53:00.000-08:00

Goodbye Heath! For whatever reason, I have been very wrapped up with the events of this past week regarding Heath Leadger. I am not sure why, perhaps it is because he was an amazing actor or from what we have learned, an incredible person. Who knows.

In any case, I feel like I need to do something to mourn his death. It seems that there won't be a public funeral so I am going to grieve in my own way. My friend, Eric, listened to the entire Brokeback Mountain soundtrack and had a good cry. Eric's post about listening to the soundtrack and grieving gave me an idea. This afternoon I am going to have a Heath Ledger movie marathon, Casanova, The Brother's Grimm and Brokeback Mountain. My little way to spend some time with him and say goodbye.

Goodbye Heath

Heath Ledger

2008-01-22T19:44:00.000-08:00

As I am sure many of you have heard, Heath Ledger died today. For some reason, the news of his death has impacted me. Who knows the reason but that is not why I am posting about it.

I was reading an article on Yahoo.com about his death and there was a slideshow of photos. I thought I would take a look... I couldn't have been more apalled. There several photos of NY Medical Examiner removing Heath's body from his apartment building. Why was that necessary? I don't expect to see those kinds of photos when something is tragic and I certainly don't expect to see those photos for a celebrity... Give them the decency they deserve and respect their family's privacy.

Enough about that... I am very sad about Heath's death.

Christmas Recap

2008-01-17T16:12:00.000-08:00

I guess I am really behind on my blogging since I haven't even posted about Christmas. This was a hard Christmas for my family, first one without my dad. I will have to say it really didn't feel like Christmas at all. There were a number of things that made it feel off besides the obvious. My brothers haven't been speaking to each other since my dad passed away, as of matter of fact my baby brother isn't welcome at my brother's house. This was really tough for us because he has two kids and they weren't with us for Christmas. Additionally, it was weird not being at my mom's for the holiday... just didn't feel weird.

Okay, on the positive side of things, I did receive some really great knitting gifts. I think you can officially say that you are a knitter when you receive a number of knitting gifts. Here is a list of what I received and I can't wait to start putting them to use.

1. The Knitting (Man)ual

2. A Yarn Lover's Guide to Hand Dyeing

3. 2 Skeins of Knit Picks Bare

4. Set of Knit Picks DPN's size 0-3

5. A Swift

I can't wait to get my hands wet with dyeing yarn... the book has some great interviews and lots of different techniques.

I will close this post with some pictures of my nephew opening his Christmas gifts... isn't he cute?!?

Sock Wars Update

2008-01-15T19:31:00.000-08:00

Okay, so it has been a long time since I have posted... almost a month and a half. I used to be able to post at work but Target doesn't allow that so I can't seem to find time to post. I guess really it is the fact that once I am one I seem to be online all night but don't manage to get a post done.

Some of you might be wondering how I fared in sock wars... Well, I did make it to the final round but did not win. Amazingly enough I only had to knit 2 pair of socks while others knit 10 or more pairs. On December 1, we were instructed to send a postcard to the sock monkey and the first post card she received won. I didn't bother since I knew that my socks were already on their way to assassinate me.

I fared pretty well I think and received a pretty nifty pair of socks.

I haven't decided yet if I will be participating in Sock Wars III. There is definitely a lot of energy around the next Sock Wars due to an article that appeared in the Wall Street Journal in mid December. Also, the next war will have a sponsor, SouthWest Trading Company and the official yarn for the next war is Tofutsies.

I promise my next post will be much sooner and it will be all about a Knitting Christmas.

World AIDS Day

2007-12-01T06:19:00.001-08:00

Today is World AIDS Day! This is a cause that is important to all of us, please take a little time today and learn more. Did you know that we are now in the Third decade of HIV/AIDS?

What can you do to help? Check out some of the great products that are part of (Red) - GAP, American Express, Motorola Razer - http://joinred.com/globalfund/impact/

Here are some links to local organizations:
The Aliveness Project - http://www.aliveness.org/index.shtml
MN AIDS Project - http://www.mnaidsproject.org/
Open Arms - http://www.openarmsmn.org/

Trip of Shame

2007-11-27T16:20:00.000-08:00

I can't believe I am going to post this but if you can't laugh at yourself....

Yesterday, I went to the gym at lunch with a friend, we were in a hurry but wanted to get in a quick workout. JV is always amazed that I am done with my shower so quick at lunch and yesterday he actually beat me. Well, I come out of the locker room and he is talking to a guy, I swear it looked like flirting but he claims to know the guy. I was waiting patiently for the conversation (flirting) to be done so I give JV some crap for it. In my haste to make fun of JV, I didn't see Ted coming from the elevator, Ted is blind and uses a cane. For a brief second, I heard the cane and I did hear the Danielle greet Ted but it still didn't register. Before you know, I trip and hear the cane tumble to the ground. I have never been so embarassed! Or Ashamed! Needless to say, I picked up the cane and gave it to Ted, he looked so mad I think he could have punched me.

JV Turns to me and says at least you looked good!

Sock Wars II

2007-11-26T17:49:00.000-08:00

I was planning to be more on top of posting and yet here it has been quite a while since my last post. This is another completed project.

I am participating in Sock Wars II and these are my first finished socks. Oddly enough, I am still alive in the sock wars and I have only taken out 2 victims. Come December 1st those of us still alive have to knit to take out the Yarn Monkey.

While knitting this pair of socks, I tried out the 2 circular method and rather late in the process I worked 2 socks on 2 circulars!

Pattern: Yarn Monkey's Scar

Yarn: Debbie Bliss Cashmerino

Needles: Knit Picks

Red Scarf Project

2007-11-05T18:50:00.001-08:00

I had recently signed up to receive the Knitting Daily newsletters and one of the first ones I received was about the red scarf project. From September 1 through October 15, knitters can knit a red scarf and send it in to the Orphan Foundation of America. The only criteria is that the scarf be red, 8 inches wide and 60 inches long, preferrably unisex in design.

Knitting Daily designed a special scarf pattern for the red scarf project, Connections: A Red Scarf, I really liked the pattern and decided that I wanted to knit a scarf this year. I have a few co-workers who knit so I pitched the idea to them and we all knitted scarves on our break. 2 of us knitted the knitting daily pattern and another co-worker did a rib scarf as she is new to knitting. We had a lot of fun and really enjoyed knitting them together, next year I hope to have more knitters join us.

These are pictures of my scarf, I really enjoyed knitting this pattern because it went rather fast. The only issue I had was with the sides curling really bad, even after blocking this thing like crazy.

Pattern: Knitting Daily's Connections: A Red Scarf
Yarn: Summit Hill Red
Needles: KnitPicks Options size 6

Dancing with Marvin

2007-11-04T07:25:00.001-08:00

I was heading home last night from Mark's dinner party when Jamie called. We decided to meet at the Bolt for a night cap. Turns out they were having a post Halloween costume party. Marvin the Martian was on the dance floor. The picture isn't that great but I think you get the idea.

FT Landscape Shawl

2007-10-23T16:09:00.001-07:00

I have been knitting a lot lately but haven't found the time to post about the items I have finished so hopefully this will be the first of many...

Pattern: Fiber Trends Landscape Shawl

Yarn: Lorna's Laces Shepherd Sport

Needles: KnitPicks Options size 7

I really enjoyed working on this project even though it did take a long time to finish. I had wanted to make a Prayer Shawl for my friend Kay who is battling a brain tumor and this is what I came up with. I won't tackle a shawl of this kind over the summer again but the look on Kay's face made this all worth it!

Queer Knitting This Friday!

2007-10-08T20:28:00.000-07:00

Friday October 12 at 6:00 - 8:00 Tiffany and I will be hosting Queer Knitting at 3 Kittens Needle Arts. This is evening is part of our Social knitting series so bring your knitting and socialize with other gay knitters!

See you there!

Knitting and Frogging

2007-10-07T12:05:00.000-07:00

I am finally working on a knitting project for myself. I am in the process of making a sweater in Target Red so that I may wear a sweater on my red & khaki days during the winter.

Pattern: Yaquina Bay Cardigan
Designer: Knit Picks Design Team
Yarn: Classic Elite 4 Seasons
Needles: Originally Knit Picks Options Size 8; Now Knit Picks Options Size 7

I was rocking on the sweater and had about 16 inches done on the back. For some odd reason I decided to take some measurements and I was off on gauge by 2 inches.

I decided that it was early enough in the project, I would rip it out and start over. I hooked the sweater to my ball winder and started ripping while winding a ball.

Anyway, I started re-knitting the sweater on a smaller needle and so far I am on gauge.

Knitter with a Capital K

2007-09-30T18:34:00.000-07:00

I went to the laundromat today to wash my comforter and other blankets that require an oversized washer. This morning when I went to the laundromat, everyone using the facility was all men.

As I would any other time, I took knitting with me to occupy my time. None of the guys really gave me a second look. The funny thing is that a woman and her daughter showed up and they were the ones looking at me like I was weird.

I LOVE IT! I am a knitter with a capital K!

I finished!

2007-09-29T21:30:00.000-07:00

39:09 - that was my time for a 5k I ran today.

Target Running Club sponsored a Target United Way 5k today. I wasn't going to do the run because I haven't been running in a long time. I think it was 2 months ago since I went on a run and that was only a mile, not 3.

Anyway, some co-workers were talking about the fact that they were going to do the 5k. I decided about 10 mins before the registration site closed that I would run so I signed up. What can I say, I caved to peer pressure!

The run felt good and I walked a little more than I would have liked but I finished!

I am Cranky this evening!

2007-09-27T20:38:00.000-07:00

I feel like I haven't had a lot to say lately because I haven't been doing much but yet I know that hasn't been the case. There is a lot to say but sadly I haven't been able to blog at work due to company policy... So fair warning the content might not be what you are used to, be warned.

I have been pretty silent on the events at the MSP airport involving Senator Craig. I have paid attention to the story and must say that his actions were those that are known to get sexual attention. There is no way he didn't know this, I mean really any of us that have used a restroom anywhere know that you don't typically toe tap or run your hand under the partition and try to pass it off as unknown advances. My biggest reason to pay attention to this case is the simple issue of will he get out of his guilty plea and if so is it because he is a well known person? Remember these events happen to people all the time and in some cases, it happens to gay men that are baited and then busted. Senator Craig and others have been treated with the utmost respect and dignity by the Airport police. Especially considering that things could have been handled differently.

What has gotten me all riled up? As some of you know, I work at a fitness facility part time. The facility has a steam room and sauna in the locker room. Obviously people use it in various means of atire including nude, all very normal. What iritates me is that some gay men come to the facility just to use the sauna/steam room. More importantly these men use the facility for cruising and in a sexual way. Tonight the steam room crowd was particularly raucous and this is an issue for me. Why? When I work I am the building supervisor and in charge of safety and security of our members and facility. I find issue with the fact that it seems men try to get away with more when I work because I am gay and will look the other way. Tonight I observed men who were fully aroused and were wearing certain types of sexual paraphernilia - cock rings. I find this behavior to be very troubling as it can be stereotypical that gay men are just looking for sex, that gay men are so critical of the Larry Craig's in the world but then do the same thing in a steam room/sauna and obviously this makes many uncomfortable. Sometimes, this can all be very difficult for me because I am not sure how to handle the situation... and in some cases it might involve a member who has become one of my friends. Ugh! and to top it off I saw my friend, Marshall naked in the locker room. I was patrolling the locker room more than normal due to all the activity and saw him as he was going to his locker from the showers. Why is this a big deal? We are just friends but I used to crush on Marshall something fierce, he is practically my ideal guy.

I think tonight was more of an issue as I was a little cranky since I didn't get my tattoo tonight. You see, I was scheduled to get a tattoo on the nape of my neck, my appointment was for 7 and then I was going to work afterwards. Well, Nic, the tattoo artist was running late and wouldn't be able to get me in until 8, I had to be at work by 8:30 so I have to reschedule... this appointment took 3 months to get. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal but this tattoo is emotional for me as it will be a kind of tribute to me and my dad. What is disappointing is that none of my YMCA co-workers were willing to cover me and the person that was working couldn't stay later than 8:30! I am sure there is more to come on this front...

I am also a little sad tonight because I had to work and wasn't able to talk to a friend in Ohio. He and I have been talking for a few months and I have been really enjoying it. He has been feeling under the weather lately and really wanted to "hangout" on the phone.

So, on the positive side, the Mathew Shepard Act passed the U.S Senate! YAY! This is very positive legislation for a Federal Hate Crimes law... of course there is still the hurdle of the House. Not to mention, our very lovely President has threatened to veto this act, the man has no decency...

I promise a knitting update in my next post, I have completed a few projects and started a few more.

Nothing Special

2007-09-07T14:58:00.001-07:00

Wow! Can you believe it is September already? So, I haven't written in a while... been busy or at least I would like to think so.

I made it to the State Fair even though I would have liked to go again. Missed the last weekend as I traveled to Montana yet again. I stayed at my mom's at the lake for Labor Day weekend and then drove my mom to Billings, MT for surgery on Wednesday. Everything went well which was a big relief. Once we had the all clear I drove my mom to my brother's house in Glendive (Where I grew up) and have been here for a day or so. I am so ready to head back to Minneapolis! I mean seriously, I was so bored today that I went for a drive and that only took 20 minutes to drive through the entire town.

Other news, I have been knitting up a storm... no pics yet though. I finished a second sock, made a lot of progress on the Landscape shawl and started a sweater for myself. I am finally making something for me!!!

Another Year Older

2007-08-21T08:20:00.000-07:00

Well, today is my birthday and I am another year older! Isn't it funny that when you wake up you don't magically feel older? And if you did, what would that feel like? There are times I feel like I am still a teenager versus someone who just turned 35!

Happy Birthday to me!

Mahogany

2007-08-19T07:05:00.000-07:00

I watched the movie Mahogany this weeked with Jamie. 80's movie starring Diana Ross and Billy Dee Williams... it was good and my favorite line:

Honey, you are so far behind that you think you are first.

I LOVE THAT LINE!

Enough Already

2007-08-08T10:59:00.000-07:00

Honestly, how much more can one family take in a year?

To recap, my dad passed away very unexpectedly on March 26, 2007. Five days later my aunt Anne's brother passed away in his sleep. Today, I hear from my mom while she is at the neurosurgeon that another one of Anne's brothers passed away this weekend.

And yes, I did say that my mom is at the neurosurgeon's office today.

I have had enough!

Minneapolis Bridge Collapse

2007-08-01T18:11:00.000-07:00

In case you have seen or heard... A freeway bridge just north of downtown collapsed at the end of rush hour. I know that I am having trouble receiving cell phone calls but I have confirmed that all of my friends are safe. I hope that all of your loved ones are safe!

Nothing Much

2007-07-29T12:26:00.000-07:00

I am feeling the need to blog today but I really dont have anything pertinent to say.

First, a knitting update, I am done with Harry Potter projects and currently working on the landscape shawl for my friend Kay. I posted a picture of this one a few posts back, it is in white, yellow and purple. I am really enjoying working on this project and currently have half of the 4th motif and all of the 5th motif to do. Not much more and it will be done. I am having dinner with Kay on tuesday and will bring it along to show it to her but I know I won't be quite finished by then. Also, still working on testing the pattern for Pam Gillette of Knotty Generation. I seem to be having so many problems with this pattern. I am working on the back of the sweater and was halfway through when I realized I still wasn't getting gauge and I had an extra stitch. So, I have ripped it out and will start again with a larger hook. Wish me luck!

My weekend was rather uneventful. On Friday night, went to Target with Tif and then we had dinner at Chipotle. The highlight of the evening is that I decided to buzz my hair all one length. First time I have ever done that, not much different from when I get it cut by Brett except the top isn't as long. I like it, although it was a little shocking when I looked in the mirror the next day. Saturday was also uneventful, got up early and went for a run before working at 3 Kittens Needle Arts. I was very pleased with my run, I managed to get in 3 miles and it felt really good. I love running in the morning! I am going to try to get up early a few more times this week and see of I can't get a run in before work. The shop was really quiet so Tif and I worked on the wool wall. Last night was a very quiet night, didn't do much... Rather than sitting at home, I packed up the laptop and biked over to Vera's coffee shop, hung out there for a while and surfed the internet. It was a nice ride there and back. Today has been a quiet day so far, I went to breakfast with Tif and Terri at Sunny Side Up and then I biked to the Downtown YMCA to work my shift. The shift from hell... it has been so quiet and I'm sure it will only get quieter!

Harry Potter & Boy Talk

2007-07-24T19:18:00.000-07:00

Here is the latest and greatest, I have seen the most recent installment of Harry Potter movie, just finished the final book and I have some boy talk.

First, the movie - I must admit that I am feeling disappointed by the movie. There was a lot of detail left out of this film and parts that were changed. Granted you can only do so much in 2.5 hours but at least leave things as they are rather than change them. I feel like in some ways the essence of this book was lost in translation.

Second, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - INTENSE! This is book is like a freight train, it just doesn't slow down... I am not one for ruining it for anyone so I won't, everyone needs to hurry up and finish it. I was very pleased with the ending, J.K. Rowling did it well. I know that I will more than likely read it again very soon so that I can take more time to catch everything.

Finally boy talk, I have been emailing someone for about a month or so. He found me through various websites including this blog and ultimately emailed me at MySpace. I loved his first email, it was witty, well put together and made me feel like he genuinely wanted to get to know me. As a matter of fact all of his emails have made me feel that way. Recently we started talking on the phone and that has been equally pleasing, our shortest phone call has been about 3 hours. I swear time stands still when we are talking. Day one, he said we were both giddy as 12 year olds and he was right. I am trying to keep level headed but I am finding I am just as giddy today as I was on our first phone call.

Trip to Montana

2007-07-15T12:37:00.000-07:00

Well kids, I have just returned from my fourth visit to Montana in as many months so I thought I would do a post and post a bunch of pics from this trip. I went home on July 5 to visit with my family and stayed just over a week. I have to admit that it was very difficult to come back from this trip. I had originally hoped that we would be scattering my dad's ashes while I was visiting but mom just wasn't ready so we just hung out instead.

The next couple of picturres are the sunset from my drive out to Montana. I left after work on Thursday evening and was chasing the sun as I call it. I managed to drive half my trip in the daylight and was able to catch an amazing sunset. These pictures are of the setting sun near Valley City, ND. The last pic, I took from the car so I apologize for the bug spattered windshield.

I drove as far as my brother's house in Glendive, MT; the house I grew up in. Glad I stopped because I was one tired guy. Friday morning drove the rest of the way to my mom's house in Ft Peck the next morning. I got there just as all the drama was ending. My cousin had driven up from Glendive earlier that morning and when he was driving the loop to my mom's house he unfortunately ran over the neighbor's dog. In Eric's defense, he was only driving 8 mph and did see the one dog but didn't know about the second dog until it was too late. Sadly, he is now referred to as the dog killer, a title he certainly doesn't deserve.

The following pictures are of my niece, Zoe and my nephew Tristen at the beach on my first day I was home. It was 105 degrees, thus the reason I refer to Easter Montana as the dessert of the midwest. The water was perfect and we had a very enjoyable afternoon splashing around. Best part of this afternoon? One of my classmates from high school was there and I discovered that he is completely bald, YAY! This is one of those guys that was very popular so it was a comfort to know that he had more hair loss than I do!

That Friday evening we celebrated the 4th a little late and lit off a bunch of fireworks that I brought with me from Wisconsin. I forgot to take pictures but I must admit they were some great fireworks and I would definitely buy from the same place again. I already have orders to get fireworks for New Years at the cabin.

More pictues of my niece and nephew, riding the motorized jeep in my mom's backyard. Aren't they so cute, they aren't siblings but cousins... hard to tell though. I especially like that Tristen is riding on the hood of the jeep.

The rest of the week, I spent with my mom and my niece. Zoe was a little needy so mom and I didn't get a chance to talk like I had hoped. Feel bad about that, I don't think my mom is doing as well as she would like me to believe. In any case it was a very productive week as we painted the exterior of her house, something she has been wanting to get done for a while now. We were able to get 2 coats on the house, yay! Plus it gave me a chance to work on my tan!

The next picture is Zoe showing me the frog under the four wheeler, I couldn't convince her to actually pick it up or hold it. That thing was huge, I had found it in the garage and got it outside where she and the dog found it.

Mom and I painted, spent a lot of time knitting, I worked on my prayer shawl for Kay, made a lot of progress. Helped mom with her bag she is knitting. I spent a lot of time with Zoe, I think mom needed a break from her princess granddaughter. There are so many things I wanted to accomplish while I was home and I just hope my visit gave my mom some peace of mind. I found myself missing my dad alot, if he had been there, he would have nagged on me a lot, in a good way. I missed him asking me all thing time if I was bored, or trying to turn on the porch lights while I was looking at the stars.

The next couple of pictures are some of the sunsets that I was able to take in while I was home. Maybe someday I will have a camera that will really do the colors justice. Every time I go home, I am blown away by the beauty of my childhood home. I was in the Holidazzle parade a few years ago and sat next to Amelia Santinello on the return bus, she asked me if I had family watching the parade and I said no, they were all in Montana. She responded that Montana was a beautiful state and I said yes but not Eastern Montana where I am from. Amelia told me I should refrain from saying I am from the "Ugly" partof the state as that is a first impression for her. To this day, I am alway looking at the beauty of my home and find things that always blow me away. With that said, I am going to close this post with some pictures from my journey that demonstrate the beauty of where I am from. The first 2 are the sunsets from my mom's house on the lake. The next picture is of the badlands at the Painted Canyon Visitor Center in Theordore Roosevelt Park. I stop at this visitor center every time I go home both to Montana and returning to Minneapolis. I have probably taken hundreds of pictures of painted canyon but it always leaves me breathless. When I headed out on July 5, I stopped to use the restroom at Painted Canyon and was given a moonlit view of the badlands. The moon was almost full and that lovely golden orange color; sadly I failed to take a picture of it. The last 2 pictures are of the first sculpture on the Enchanted Highway in North Dakota. This is the sculpture you see from the highway, I have never actually stopped and looked at it but was compelled to snap a picture or two. Tif and Miguel actuall drove the highway when they returned to Minneapolis in March.

KnittingUpdate

2007-07-04T16:52:00.001-07:00

Here it is the long awaited knitting update. Yes, I have been knitting even though it may not seem like it. Haven't been knitting as much as I wouild like but none the less I have been. So, here are a few objects I have finished and I am working on.

Picture above, Felted cat bed from Crochet from the Heart. I used three colors of Pattons, very quick crochet. I like it and so do my cats. Not all that happy with the fact that it doesn't lay flat, too many increases, I think.

2nd Slytherin Scarf for a trunk show at 3 Kittens Needle Arts. This scarf is based on the movie from 3rd year and beyond. The first scarf I did had large blocks of color. I am so glad to be done with these scarves, as easy as they were.

1st sock in a pair for my friend Joe at Sleeping Fawn Resort. This is the Sock of Doom from Sock Wars 2006. Hopefully this pair doesn't fall victim to second sock syndrome.

This is the Landscape Shawl, I am not very far on it, sadly it has been sitting by the wayside while I was working on all of those darn Harry Potter scarves. This my version of a prayer shawl and it is for my friend Kay. We used to work together at Ameriprise Financial, I am making this for her as she goes through chemo for a brain tumor, her fourth I think. I really want to get this done for her.

I am also going to be working on a test pattern from Pam of Knotty Generation. This is a crocheted tank, I am going to make it for Tiffany.

PRIDE 2007

2007-06-25T16:39:00.000-07:00

Pride 2007

Happy Pride or rather Happy Belated Pride.

I am so shocked that Pride is already over… it seems like we were just building up to the event. I had a great Pride weekend, even though it seemed to be starting off on the wrong foot. I was extremely cranky on Friday and people were cancelling on me for Friday’s activities. Instead of going with my original plans, I ended up going to the TC Gay Men’s Chorus concert with Miguel and Phillip. The concert was excellent as usual and they did two of my favorite songs – I am what I am from La Cage Aux Folles and Defying Gravity from Wicked. A friend had the solo in I am what I am and did an excellent job; I was nervous about Defying Gravity but the arrangement was a good one and it really is amazing to hear it sung by a group of gay men. Afterwards we went out to the Saloon which was a little on the quiet side and I really wasn’t feeling it so I headed home and to bed by midnight.

Saturday started off more promising, I headed to the park to work at the Target booth with Jamie, Kari and Tiff. That was a lot of fun, great group of people and how can you not have fun giving everyone a temporary tattoo. We were even given a cool visor to wear which did leave my head exposed to the sun and now I am little red in the thin places. Oh Well! Joel and his friend Marrielle met up with us and walked around the park for the afternoon and then headed home to shower for the evening’s festivities. We all met back at the park to see Taylor Dane and watch fireworks, after which we proceeded to the Gay 90’s. This was supposed to be our warm-up place before heading to the Saloon but ended up staying there until close. It was so great to be there for Pride, they were busy and it was just like the old days when I first moved to Minneapolis . Camille even brought out Moo Moo Land which required a tip from me, after all that is the first number I ever saw a drag queen perform. I ran into several friends at the 90’s that haven’t seen in a few months, they thought I had moved to Montana . A co-worker at the Y told them I had moved, funny how rumors get started. We even had a little bit of drama, Joel had to pick a fight with me about why Sex is so much a part of Pride and the gay clubs. I tried a series of approaches but I may have been too drunk to have been effective. I will definitely revisit that conversation when sober. I think it is difficult for the young, cute straight boy to understand being gay and all the things that comes with it. Yes sex is very prevalent but it is hard to escape that when you consider that fact that we love someone of the same sex that makes heterosexuals think it is only about sex. Okay that and bad media coverage that only shows certain images of our community and not the families and the couples that are just trying to make it.

Tif and Terri; Shawn and Terri at the parade - Terri's first Pride!

Anyway, on to Sunday… after a brief 5 hour nap Tif and I headed to brunch with the guys from Wallyball. We met up at Phillip’s house for a light brunch and then headed to the Parade. I thought for sure we were going to miss the start which would make Tif sad as she missed the dykes on bikes. The parade was late and Tif was not let down. I think some of the best moments from the Parade and afternoon were seeing my friends, Terri and Joel experience the parade for the first time. To see all the support and the expressions of ourselves really made an impact on them. Especially for Joel to see all the churches marching in the parade. As always I was moved by PFLAG and hope for the day of marching my mom or at least getting her to see all the families.

I am going to jump to Sunday evening since this is getting long and most of the afternoon was spent at the park again. After a quick shower and change of clothes, Tiff and I headed to the block party at the Saloon. I am glad we arrived when we did, we were just in time to see Esera Tuaolo sing. I never tire of seeing him! We made sure we were right at the edge of the stage for his performance which was well worth it. Later in the evening while on the way to get a drink, Tiff was able to meet him and get a big hug from Esera. I had told her that gives amazing hugs so I had to make sure she got one. It was cute, she told her #1 Gay Boyfriend said that he gave great hugs and he picked her up in a huge hug. She loved it! The rest of the evening was fun but was cut short, we hit a wall at 10 and just couldn’t do it anymore. Sad, I know… In any case the rest of the block party was amazing, close enough to the stage all the time to really have fun watching Martha Wash, Frenchie and Kristine W. We danced, had a few drinks and poor Tif, she managed to have 5 drinks spilt on her.

I am so sad that Pride is over, I always look forward to it and get a little depressed when it is over.

My parting words on Pride are this – yes, it is still after all of our progress necessary celebrate Pride. It is necessary for so many reasons, Pride is a party but it is about so much more than just a big party. We have to remember that this all began when Drag Queens at the Stonewall Inn fought back, without their bravery there wouldn’t be non-discrimination acts in 20 states that list Sexual Orientation, our employer’s wouldn’t have non-discrimination policies including sexual orientation or offer domestic partner benefits. Just this past Thursday, I had the amazing opportunity to hear Neil Giuliano from GLAAD speak. He told us his story and talked about why it is so important to be out and tell our stories as often as we can. When you share that part of yourself, your story, it is the greatest impact in your families, communities and workplaces. We must live out and in the open in order to continue in our quest for equality.

***Found the camera and posted a few pics. Still need to get the Esera pics from my phone! ***

Which house are you?

2007-06-22T05:41:00.001-07:00

The sorting hat says that I belong in Gryffindor!

Said Gryffindor, "We'll teach all those with brave deeds to their name."

Students of Gryffindor are typically brave, daring, and chivalrous.
Famous members include Harry, Ron, Hermione, Albus Dumbledore (head of Hogwarts), and Minerva McGonagall (head of Gryffindor).

Take the most scientific Harry Potter
Quiz ever created.

Get Sorted Now!

Not A Lot

2007-06-03T05:49:00.001-07:00

Not much new to report, just a quick post to update things. For some odd reason, even after going out and working all day I am finding it impossible to sleep in.... Damn Summer! At least that is what I am choosing to blame it on, all this daylight makes me want to be awake and play.

I went out the Saloon last night for the first time in ages. Music was good, they had my favorite beer but I sure felt out of place. I am either getting old or need to go out more because I didn't know anybody there. There were several people I wanted to better...

I recently met someone and was having a really good time getting to know them. In typical Shawn fashion, I jumped in to fast, to much and may have scared him off. I really did enjoy getting to know him! I do hope that he has just been busy and will still want to get to know each other. Maybe someday I will learn and then perhaps things would work out better... Here's to hope!

I guess for now thats all I have... God, I hate Sundays!

Feeling Down

2007-05-28T08:00:00.000-07:00

Today is a weird day, I have been awake for a few hours and I am already wishing the day was over, I am feeling rather lonely. I am not sure where this is coming from although I could venture a guess... All of my friends are busy or out of town, Tif has a guest arriving this morning for 10 days and will be very preoccupied, my entire family is together in Montana, not sure if I will from a new friend and I am alone.

I think the bigger issue here is that last night while watching a rerun of Brothers & Sisters I had a mini meltdown. The rerun was the pilot of the series and ends with the death of their father, they find him in the pool. I knew that this was going to happen and should have turned it off during the last 10 minutes to avoid seeing it but for whatever reason I watched. Now, most of you don't already know this, my dad died 2 months ago today, the death in the tv show had some similarities to my dads and it was too much for me to see. So, today I am finding myself a little over come with emotions and loneliness.

While this is a very public place to write this, I find in some ways it is easier to write about it in a blog then to find someone to talk to or write it in a journal.

So, is today over yet?

Happy Birthday Tiffany

2007-05-27T18:07:00.000-07:00

I had the great opportunity to get some awesome tickets to the Twins vs Blue Jays baseball game on Sunday May 27. I invited Tiffany to come along since her birthday is on Tuesday. We had great seats and a lot of fun, drank some beer and had a dome dog. Did I mention that this was my first Twins game ever?

Okay the above picture is a little funny, here is a nother one of the two of us... Maybe this one isn't that great either, I guess this is what happens when you hold your own camera for a pic.

How great are these seats, we were close enough to be able to call these pitches!

Liz H, who Tif and I work with at 3 Kittens Needle Arts, was sitting closer to first base in rown 14 while we were sitting in row 27. Turns out there were 6 empty seats by her seats so we moved... good choice I think.

Great outdoor pictures!

2007-05-27T17:58:00.001-07:00

I went out for a run today, first time in ages and it felt great. The best partof a run is always the stretching afterwards, it always feels so good and on warm days it is great to be out in the yard stretching. I was laying under the tree in the front yard and took a few pics of the light coming through the leaves.

Today, Tif and I went to Gigi's Coffee shot to just sit outside and knit as well as sip on some good coffee. We walked from our house to the coffee shop and on the way back, Tif had the most excellent idea to take pictures of these flowers. I absolutely love Iris's...

Northern Retreat!

2007-05-22T18:36:00.000-07:00

For the past several years, Mandy, Tif and I go to my friends Joe's resort, Sleeping Fawn Resort the weekend before Memorial Day. Unfortunately, we didn't think that we were going to make it this year due to timing of going home to be with my mom. Needless to say, Joe and Tif and I were able to come up with a good date and we made it happen. This year the trip was much shorter and Mandy was not with us.

We just returned from Sleeping Fawn on Sunday evening having had an excellent weekend. Tif and I primarily wanted to go and finish work on the rock retaining wall we started in September. While Joe and Chris ran a half marathon in Fargo, we worked on the wall and completed it by 430, we totally rocked that wall.

Just a couple of pics of the wall and then a little more of a recap from the weekend.

The Giant and neverending rock wall to start this little journey. Seemed like this pile was never going to get any smaller.

The pic above is the wall as we were getting started building from our wall that we completed last year. Next pic in this series is the demise of the rock pile, YAY!! It is finally gone... Let's just remind everyone that we completed our wall and managed to have rocks left to line some of Joe's yard.

We had a great weekend, not only did we do all this great work for Joe but we were able to go to Zorbaz with Joe and Chris for Dinner. And of course there was the obligatory games of Yahtze and beer. Sadly we weren't able to teach Joe to play a beer bottle flute but I guess that is okay. a few more pics... until the next time!

Chris with the paper in one hand and a beer in the other hand, gotta love it!

Yahtze game in progress, for the first time ever, Joe actually went the whole weekend without getting a Yahtze. Tif got 2 and I managed to actually get one, yay! So much fun....

Beer Bottle Flute playing, poor Joey, never actually made a single note!

Updated Odds & Ends

2007-05-08T08:11:00.000-07:00

Haven't posted in a while and don't have much to post about so I will just give you a few odds & ends.

Knitting:
On the knitting front I have few things I am working on or have completed. I have just completed a Harry Potter scarf for an upcomong event at 3 Kittens Needle Arts. To be different, I chose to knit the scarf in Slytherin colors, turned out nice and sometimes there is nothing like mindless stockinettte. Did you realize that there are 2 scarf styles for the Harry Potter series, one from the earlier movies with larger color stripes and one from the later movies with smaller stripes. You know what that means, I have a second Slytherin scarf to complete!

On a whim, I decided to knit a sweater for my niece's birthday on May 2. Well, I didn't give it to her yet because I am going to be in Montana this weekend, May 12 and want to give it to her when I am there. Good thing too because I just finished the knitting and started sewing the seams... I hate that part as I am not that good at it. Anyway, the sweater is really cute, it is the Briar Rose pattern from Knitty. At this point I am very please with how the sweater is turning out and like the colors I chose. 5/21: Thought I would update this post with a few pics of the Briar Rose sweater since it has been given to my niece. Here are a few pics of Zoe in`the sweater

I have a couple of projects in the works, a pair of socks for a friend and I am working on my first ever shawl for another friend. Good thing as I am taking the train to Montana this weekend so I will have some good knitting time as I watch all of North Dakota go by...

Family:
Well, I am heading out to Montana this weekend for Mother's day, not going just for that reason. this will be my first trip home since my dad passed away so I am nervous but glad to be going. This will be the first trip to my parents home, when I was home for the funeral and to help mom out we were in Glendive at my brother's house. It is going to be weird to go to the lake house, I have never been there when my dad wasn't there, that was his place. I know that seems weird but I didn't grow up in this house, it is where he retired so it is going to be hard to be there without him.

I think the other thing that is making me anxious about going home is that my youngest brother will be coming home. He is just getting out of alcohol treatment and jail for a DUI and will be staying with my mom. That should be good for her to have someone around except that he always gets her upset... likes to push her on everything until she is upset. I wish I could just say to mom, don't let him stay, he is 30 years old, let him work out his problems on his own. I know better so I will be quiet about it...

Dating:
I am still not dating anyone, I guess I am okay with that but it does stink. More than ever, I wish there were someone I was seeing that could just hold me sometimes, that kind of contact would be really nice right now. I know that I could have a few different people come and hang out but we really aren't that kind of friends so it is too weird for me. Now, this past weekend, I met a friend of a friend and we flirted with each other alot but there are some things in the way of anything happening. Primarily, his ex boyfriend is a recovering meth addict and is very jealous so I don't think I could handle that drama. Which is hard for me to say because I am really attracted to this guy on so many levels. He is cute, funny, witty and a total smart ass!

Later!

Fun stuff

2007-04-27T07:05:00.000-07:00

I was going through some pictures at home and came across this disc, I had no idea what was on it. So here are a few of the pictures from the disc, it was from my trip to Out & Equal 2005 in Denver. I went to the conference with my friend, Lynn from Ameriprise, afterwards we went to see Wicked with my friend Stephen from Denver.

Me with Glinda!

Me with Elphaba (Stephanie Block)!

And yes, I did linger at the Stage Door to get pictures with the cast. Well, we did have to walk by to go to the car. I was really hoping to see Carol King but she didn't leave by the stage door, however she came by in her car to pick up the other cast members.

Lynn, Kate Clinton and Me! We met Kate at a VIP party for Out & Equal corporate sponsors. She was a lot of FUN!

The scultptures outside the conference site with rainbow flags.

Not much else going on, things are just getting back to a more normal schedule.

Lost

2007-04-21T23:28:00.000-07:00

I feel like I have lost my way...

I have to admit that I am writing this after a few cocktails but the emotions and feelings are still the same. I have lost a parent! How are you supposed to go on with your life after a loss like that? I am the oldest child in the family but also the furthest away from my family, how am I supposed to take care of myself and of my mom? I mean, really... how do you really insure that your mom is truly okay after losing the love of her life? I haven't even found the love of my life so I can't even relate.

I feel like I haven't even grieved the loss of my dad, yet there are so many moments of everyday that I think about him and the fact he is gone. Today, I had a hard moment because I want to do certain things through my creativity to comemorate his memory and yet they are hard. I couldn't look at a picture because it is too real for me. I am afraid of experiencing an intimate moment with someone because I can't deal with the emotions that will bring to the surface.

I never told my dad who I truly am, I know that he knew I was gay but we never talked about it. I honestly can't say that I know he was proud of who I have become!

As I write this post I am so overcome with emotion and feeling and loss that I don't even know where to turn.

Favorite Pic

2007-04-12T12:08:00.000-07:00

Just a quick post, wanted to share one of my favorite pictures of me and my dad.

I am doing okay, really just hanging in there. To all of you that read my blog or know me personally, THANK YOU for just being you and being there.

Shawnee